Archive for the ‘amusing’ Category

Movember draws to an end

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

For many a gentleman, it’s the last day of sporting a moustache. Yes, Movember is almost over!

It’s been tough; the jaunts, the jibes, the toast crumbs left dangling precariously for all to see, but overall it’s been fun.

And more to the point, at the last count, we’ve raised £345 for a very good cause, so thank you to everyone who has made our hirsute pursuits worth it.

If you would like to help us tip the £350 mark, you can still sponsor Team Remedy at:

http://mobro.co/remedycreative

Movember – just 2 weeks ’til the moustaches come off

Saturday, November 19th, 2011

Remedy Creative Movember 2011

Red likes: huntin’ shootin’ ‘n’ fishin’             Cletus likes: Jambalya, Crawfish Pie and the Bayou

Please help Red and Cletus raise money for The Prostate Cancer Charity and the Institute of Cancer Research. You can donate online at: http://mobro.co/remedycreative

Thanks y’all

Get creative with your pumpkins

Friday, October 28th, 2011

The ghouls and ghosties are out and about and it’s time to carve the pumpkin.

So you want to do something creative, but you don’t have a degree in sculpture?

Here are a few ideas that you could have a bit of fun with. Some a little challenging, but most even a 9 year old could do – maybe not the one with the 6 inch nails though.

Happy haunting!

Goodbye Kent & Sussex Hospital

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

We’ve put up with the sirens, the 4pm stink (goodness knows what that was) and the wall of fag smoking auxiliary workers. So it’s with a cheer, we’re saying goodbye to the Kent & Sussex.

This little time-lapse movie was taken on the day the hospital officially closed. Over the coming weeks we’ll put together another movie of it being pulled down. I wonder if Fred Dibnah would have approved?

Anyone can be a copywriter

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

OK, maybe not a great copywriter, but if you can string a sentence together, you’re halfway there(ish). But how many people can write cracking headlines?

If you want to learn more about writing compelling headlines, you don’t have to look much further than the newspaper stand. 5-10 finely honed words that tell a whole story, believe me it’s not easy.

Here are a few that have stopped me on the way to the office over the last few months, either leaving me wanting to know more, or just making me chuckle.

A sign of the times?                                                            Err… a sign of the times?

Murder he woofed.                                                             Didn’t know you could recycle freaks.

And all the ladies want to catch it.                                     Great tactic.

You can see more examples of the craft of the headline copywriter here

And check this out if you want to find out more about editing your copy

What makes a great pitch?

Monday, July 11th, 2011

Strategy + creativity + pizazz + chemistry = success

It’s a bizarre process, you get the team whipped up into a frenzy of activity. Everyone’s buzzing, working into the early hours. The big idea is put in front of the Creative Director, he gets into a huddle with the account team who start foaming at the mouth with excitement. The studio is cranked up another gear; producing layouts, mood boards, mock-ups… what ever’s needed to hook that juicy new account.

All in all, it’s a highly charged process. All hands to the pump, beers and pizza at midnight, hysteria at 2.00am and crashing in the boardroom just as the sun comes up.

But the real fun is to be had at the pitch itself.

I once had the pleasure of pitching to a marketing big wig from Napolina. I had to present a TV script for tinned tomatoes that involved a tongue-in-cheek Italian operetta, and poor old muggins had to play the parts of both tenor and soprano. It was the kind of script that could only be performed with molto gusto.

So after the pre-amble and recapitulation of the creative brief, I sucked in my  gut and belted out a sub-standard Rossini number at the top of my voice. I was in the zone, eyes tightly shut, convinced of the creative genius of the script. I got to the final flourish and was just about to take a bow, when the client looked at me, completely devoid of emotion and said – “is no good… next”. Thank heavens I hadn’t gone to the trouble of wearing a fat suit and cummabund.

No doubt, if it had been up to the late, great Peter Marsh, it would have been presented in the Royal Opera House on horseback.

Peter Marsh was famous for his flamboyant pitches. When his agency, ABM, pitched for the British Rail account back in the 70′s, the clients, including chairman, Sir Peter Parker, arrived at the agency and were pretty much ignored by the receptionist, who told them that Marsh would be down shortly. Half an hour passed as the increasingly irate client sat in a filthy reception filled with half-empty polystyrene coffee cups and dirty ashtrays.

Disgusted with their treatment, Parker and his team made for the door. As he stood up to leave, Peter Marsh appeared and announced, “This is what your customers have to put up with every day, now let’s see how we can put it right.” The client was impressed and ABM won the account.

Peter Marsh was the grand master of the big pitch, some of his more triumphant moments included:

• Hiring a brass band to parade outside the agency’s offices to impress a marketing director at Honda.

• Tearing off a dinner jacket to reveal a white, sequined suit, in a pitch to Woolworths. Even though the client was impressed, he still needed reassurance that ABM was big enough to handle the account, so requested an office visit. Marsh agreed and to seal the deal, showed them around a larger agency owned by his friend,  Rodney Millard.

Big pitches, of course, need equally big budgets and things have changed dramatically since the 70′s. However, there’s still a lot more to pitching than just showing off your creative skills. Ultimately, as the saying goes, ‘people do business with people’.

Andrew Gillespie, the group director of marketing operations at Barclays sums it up beautifully. “It’s not about us testing whether you can do it – it’s about us testing whether we can work with you.”

2011, the year the world implodes – or something

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

I love predictions and no doubt, a psychic somewhere in Wyoming knew I was going to say that.

Every year, those in the know get their crystal balls out and tell us what’s going to go down in the year to come. 2011 is no different and there are some real humdingers predicted.

In world economics we have:

The USA does a ‘Euro’
The multi-colored Amero becomes the new unified currency for North America. Borders between Canada and Mexico have been effectively erased.
c/o meltdown2011.com

The UK goes to the dogs
Britain will see its decline and their society destroyed by overindulgence in sex, drugs, money, alcohol, immorality & gambling.
c/o world-famous-predictions-prophecies.blogspot.com

Technology:

Everything connected
…every device, from the television to your phone to your fridge can now have a web address. That means you can email a picture straight from your mobile to your picture frame already; in future the cork in a wine bottle will have an address too. That means it will email you to tell you today is the best day to get it out of the cupboard.
c/o telegraph.co.uk

Cloud computing
You will build a private cloud, and it will fail.
c/o blogs.forrester.com

Celebrity:

Oh no, say it ain’t so
In February the Beckhams reveal they are planning a divorce.
c/o Craig and Jane Hamilton-Parker of The Psychics & Mediums Network

Major doom-mongering:

Start panic buying now
The sky erupts. Cities darken, food spoils and homes fall silent. Civilization collapses.
c/o prophecynewswatch.com / usatoday.com

A bit fishy
You will have to undergo many trials and tests until the self centered (sic) attitude of your past karmas is overcome. (aimed at Pisceans)
c/o foreverhoroscopes.com

Silver lining
After Thirteen Heavens of Decreasing Choice, and Nine Hells of Increasing Doom, the Tree of Life shall blossom with a fruit never before known in the creation, and that fruit shall be the New Spirit of Men.
c/o greatdreams.com

Hedging their bets:

I told you so
American ‘mature’ actor loses fight with cancer

See I really am a psychic
Political leader faces legal allegations on theft/embezzlement

I could probably make money out of this
Helicopter safety rescue for a few stranded people (near mountains, waterfall, cliffs)
all c/o family.psychics.co.uk

So, all in all it’s going to be quite an entertaining year. See you in the bunker, don’t forget to bring a tin opener.

Email legalities and absquatulation

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

Legal sign-offs at the bottom of emails have become the norm in all B2B communications. Mostly they are ignored, but they do provide a level of protection for when you accidentally send a confidential email to the wrong person in your address book. If you have never experienced that horrible sinking feeling after hitting the send button,  it’s a bit like the ‘doh’ moment you get when you refer to the non-existent ‘attached’ – but about a million times worse.

button send

The following is a genuine email sign off that I spotted on an email sent to me last week. Would it hold up in court? I doubt it very much, but it made us smile. Warning – you may need to have your dictionary handy for this one.

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are
not the intended recipient any dissemination, distribution or copying of
this email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and
constitutes an irritating social faux pas.

Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or
grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
transmission of this email, although the Dachshound next door is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you.

Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by
pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer, you can
ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this
email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a
warm oven for 40 minutes.

Choosing the right media can make all the difference

Friday, May 7th, 2010

The idea is king, but the right media choice can really drive the idea home.

If you don’t believe us, check this out…

crashwide

How to build a nuclear submarine…

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

periscope

Last week I learned how to build a nuclear submarine. In my quest to prove that you can teach an old dog new tricks, I found myself in a project management workshop run by the Institute of Directors. (And just to be clear, when I say ‘learned how to’, what I actually mean is ‘grasped a rudimentary understanding of the basic project management processes involved in the building of a nuclear submarine’ and when I say ‘an old dog’ it’s self-referential and therefore OK in this instance).

The workshop was run by a highly experienced project management consultant, Mary McKinlay, who has spent most of her career making sure that big expensive pieces of defence kit cost what they were supposed to cost and ended up where they were supposed to be, when they were supposed to be there.

Mary believes that the success of a project lies in about 20% ‘hard skills’; the processes and tools used to run a project, and 80% ‘soft skills’; the attitudes, behaviours and personalities of the people involved in the project.

I would have to agree with her on this point. From my own personal experience, proficient project managers rely heavily on good old fashioned common sense, fantastic communication skills and the ability to ask the question ‘what if?’ at the right time. For the most part, it’s not rocket science – (unless you are actually building a new rocket – and then it probably is).

Everything we do at Remedy is project-based in some way and I like to think we are pretty good at it too. But I have to admit that when Mary started talking about ‘master resource plans’, ‘responsibility assignment matrix’ and ‘logic networks’, I did start to wonder whether project management is really a ‘dark art’ – something to be practiced within high-tech industries by those who are more comfortable working somewhere without windows. If you need further convincing of this, take a look at the Project Roadmap produced by the International Project Management Association. Here are some of my favourite bits for your bewilderment….

cost planning

spiral dymanics

So where does this leave us fluffy, creative-type companies? We too have to meet our clients’ expectations; deliver projects on time and on budget and do it all with our usual creative flair and unwavering sense of humour.

We could choose to take the Sir John Harvey-Jones approach to project management:

‘Planning is an unnatural process – it’s much more fun to get on with it. The real benefit of not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise and is not preceded by months of worry.’

However, no-one really likes surprises, least of all bad ones and what’s a few months of worry between friends, if the end result is a cracking ad campaign or a first-rate website?

So here are my top ten project management tips for all of you eager to learn how to do it better. Some are courtesy of Mary McKinlay and others are simply pearls of wisdom picked up from other equally talented folk along the way…

1) Take your time to define the project – what is it and what does it need to do?
2) Work out how to do it and who will do it.
3) How long will it take and how much will it cost?
4) How will progress be tracked and when will we know when the project is finished?
5) Identify risks and opportunities (what happens if?..).
6) Make sure everyone on the project team understands their role and responsibilities.
7) There are three main components to any project ‘quality, time and cost’. Understand that changes to any of these will impact on the others.
8) The ability to use project management software does not equal a good project manager.
9) Monitor costs throughout a project and flag any concerns.
10) Learn from your mistakes – don’t hide your head in the sand when things go wrong, and hold a de-briefing session to work out how to do things better next time around.

In the workshop, Mary pointed out that a good project manager has to wear many hats. Planner, organiser, controller (read control freak in my case), motivator, diplomat, negotiator, communicator, accountant, problem solver, psychologist… to name but a few.

To be honest, we are not big on wearing hats at Remedy, but some of this does sound very familiar. Maybe we’ve got the project management thing covered after all!