Legal sign-offs at the bottom of emails have become the norm in all B2B communications. Mostly they are ignored, but they do provide a level of protection for when you accidentally send a confidential email to the wrong person in your address book. If you have never experienced that horrible sinking feeling after hitting the send button, it’s a bit like the ‘doh’ moment you get when you refer to the non-existent ‘attached’ - but about a million times worse.
The following is a genuine email sign off that I spotted on an email sent to me last week. Would it hold up in court? I doubt it very much, but it made us smile. Warning - you may need to have your dictionary handy for this one.
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are
not the intended recipient any dissemination, distribution or copying of
this email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and
constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or
grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
transmission of this email, although the Dachshound next door is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by
pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer, you can
ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this
email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a
warm oven for 40 minutes.